Chaz Bono is not a Man


Chaz Bono has a vagina.

Why does this never come up? Newly monikered Chaz is referred to in the media as “he.” Chaz Bono was born Chastity Bono to Sony and Cher Bono on March 4, 1969. Before her gender switch, she was best known for being the famous couple’s daughter and writing two books about coming out as and living as a lesbian: Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, and Their Families (1998)  and The End of Innocence (2003.)

Sonny Bono sadly perished in a skiing accident in January 1998.

In 2008 Chastity began the process of becoming a man. She takes hormone injections because Chastity apparently felt she was a he trapped in a she’s body. Now, secondary male sex characteristics like facial hair, a deeper voice, muscles (hard to tell but I’ll take Chaz’s word for it), make the former Chastity feel like a man. She changed her moniker to Chaz and legally became a male in 2010.

Chaz debuts on Dancing with the Stars this season, apparently to much controversy. Her dancing partner is female, natch.

Becoming a transgender is not “new,” not like the iPhone or fried beer. The first well-known transgender was Christine Jorgensen, who felt compelled to change from a man to a woman 1950 in Copenhagen. He was born in the United States and returned here to live after the surgery.

Before Chaz there was widespread coverage of the woman who is legally a man but gave birth in Oregon; he scaled back on his male-hormone injections so he could carry a baby in his uterus. This “male” was headlined across the nation as “The Pregnant Man.” Thomas Beattie is the man who gave birth, and he did it naturally. Through his own uterine canal. One can only assume he sat on the potty and went pee using his urethra (thank you for my forgotten bio lesson, c.s.) Beattie now has three children and began taking hormone injections again.

Why is does silence surrounding this hypocrisy? Seems there should be a Broadway play called “The Vagina Hypocrisy” starring Chaz and Beattie, who gave birth wearing a beard. Can you imagine the crowds? Heck, the Vagina Monologues was a big hit.

Chastity Bono was a beautiful girl, from the looks of it. Though had she been born with features more closely resembling an Aye-aye than those of a little girl, the story would be the same.

But wait! I do not begrudge a good sex change. Go for it. I don’t understand it, don’t even come close to understanding why changing genders would be a desirable or valid choice for anyone. Much less why it is considered a medical condition. However, I accept that I do not understand everything. Just don’t ask me to believe something that isn’t true, because I won’t. Cutting off breasts and giving yourself shots does not a man make. Getting breast implants and giving yourself shots does not a woman make.

But because Gender Identity Disorder is a medical condition,  taxpayers pay for prisoners’ gender reassignment surgery. Convicts are not granted gender reassignment surgery although this law has been, and is being tested. Prisoners do continue to receive hormone replacement therapy if it was started before the perpetrator committed and was convicted of their crime. The surgery itself costs about 20K, but often needed plastic surgery can total up to 100K. This is beyond incredible! Murderers, pedophiles and rapists are asking law-abiding people to pay so they can feel “comfortable” in their own skin.

(The above information is incorrect. Prisoners continue to receive hormone therapy if it has been started before they are convicted of a crime. They are not granted gender reassignment surgery although this law has been tested by killers, for example, who have thus far unsuccessfully sued to receive the surgery.)

I really do not care if a killer, pedophile or rapist is not comfortable. In fact, I hope that those people are not comfortable. 5in blade

That’s all I’m saying. I can’t call you a he when you were born with female machinery. Can’t call you a she when the opposite is true. We might need a new word.

Regardless, Chaz can dance the night away. She is in good hands.


47 responses »

  1. I think you said it best: you don’t understand it. You don’t even begin to comprehend why trans people feel the ways they do, or try to take steps to feel more comfortable. You may not get why he did what he did, and you may not understand why what you’re saying is extremely hurtful and insulting, but it’s pretty clear you need to keep learning. You’re coming from the gender definitions my parents used to, the old “biology is everything”, and I think that’s a pretty rigid and incomplete way to look at it. You’re really buying into your own ignorance here. I guess you can chalk this up to one of your “mom mistakes”.

    • Josh, maybe I did in fact say it best. We agree. I don’t understand it. You are also right that I don’t really see why that is insensitive. So what if I don’t understand? So what if I think a new word is needed in the English language for someone who changes their gender?

      What does “buying into your own ignorance” even mean? I may have a different opinion than you do. Perhaps I am not the one who is ignorant

      • This “new word” you’re seeking is already in existence, it’s called transgendered. And, just a small point, and probably irrelevant to you – it’s not their gender changing, it’s their sex.

  2. I think one GIANT “MOM MISTAKE” you’re making is imposing your blatant ignorance. Educate yourself on the topic before you post nonchalantly about someone’s life decisions. You never know who your children might grow up to be.

    • I don’t think posting a blog is “imposing” my ignorance. Maybe I was a little too blithe. I read more about the topic than I ever have in writing this blog and was greeted once again by the compulsion that drives people who want to or who do change their genders. I do know we, as a people, do not understand nearly enough about the brain or how it intertwines with our emotions and senses.
      I don’t know who my children will grow up to be. I wanted to address the mom aspect of this but decided I need to do it in another blog.

      • What, exactly, is the “mom aspect” of this?

        I am a mother, too. Did I miss the memo about how to regard other human beings and their uniqueness? I have a transgendered son who is stable, funny, accomplished and most of all, compassionate and loving. I support him in every aspect of his life as I have always done, even pre-transition.

      • There isn’t realy a “mom” aspect, I entertained the idea of starting a new blog but since I am new to the blogging universe I skipped that as I am not sure exactly how much of what I will be writing.
        I didn’t send out a memo, and I don’t really understand how that question relates to what I wrote. I don’t think it does, it sounds like you might be defensive or on a high-horse. That’s OK, I’ve been both more than once.
        I love that you love your son, I am happy for him and for you.

  3. I am disgusted with your choice of language. I have friends who have transitioned and you would have never known that these weren’t the bodies they were born into. They’re much happier and well adjusted now that their dyphoria is behind them. I think you are sick for hate mongering and when someone goes through years of therapy, paper work, painful surgery and a live of feeling alienated–who are you to deny them a simple pronoun. I just hope for everyone’s sake, that your children grow up comfortable with themselves because if they ever have to go to you with a big personal change they want to make, I hope you would be a good mother and be accepting and nurturing and love the person they are on the inside, because by reading this, I doubt you’d have the capacity to do so.

    • Hate mongering? Really? It can’t be about just “a simple pronoun” or this much anger wouldn’t be stirred up. You say you hope my children grow up to be comfortable with themselves? Kate, I don’t think anyone is comfortable with themselves, certainly not all the time. It’s maybe how we accept our discomfort and our differences that get us through.

  4. You wrote:

    “I don’t understand it, don’t even come close to understanding why changing genders would be a desirable or valid choice for anyone. Much less why it is considered a medical condition. However, I accept that I do not understand everything. Just don’t ask me to believe something that isn’t true, because I won’t. Cutting off breasts and giving yourself shots does not a man make. Getting breast implants and giving yourself shots does not a woman make.”

    It doesn’t matter that you don’t understand, because it is not a condition that affects you. I am a heterosexual male, comfortable in my own skin, and I will never understand how people like Chaz feel. It isn’t necessary for me to understand, and I don’t think I ever could, because I haven’t experienced that feeling. But I am fully supportive of transgender persons, because I believe that everyone is entitled to live comfortably with themselves.

    You may believe whatever you’d like about what determines sex, as well as the relationships between sex and gender. Keep in mind, however, that your definitions are not absolute. They are not fact. They are merely opinions, and to be quite honest, they are extremely narrow-minded. They are also completely irrelevant. Those who have sought gender reassignment, or plan to in the future, likely define sex and gender differently than you. It is their opinions alone that matter, as it affects their lives, not yours, or mine.

    I am not sure whether or not you are aware of how disrespectful this article is, but you should at least keep in mind that stating that you don’t understand doesn’t neutralize your insensitivity.

    • For the most part I liked your letter. So many points, I probably won’t address all of them. For one thing, I agree that it doesn’t matter that I don’t understand. It apparently does matter though or you wouldn’t be writing.

      I disagree with you that everyone is entitled to live comfortably with themselves. As I mentioned, people who intentionally do egregious harm to others are deserving of very little. And I certainly do not want to pay for anything that might bring them pleasure. Those people are leeches.

      In no way shape or form did I think my opinions were “absolute.” My words are not the end of a discussion. But they are my opinion and so what if it is different from yours or your neighbors? You can write a “blog.” No one is stopping you.

      I thought that was an excellent point – and one I hadn’t thought of or come across – that those who seek gender reassignment probably define sex and gender differently than I do. I appreciate you actually talking to me there.

      Saying I don’t understand actually does neutralize my insensitivity. So, with that I disagree. I don’t care if someone becomes a different gender. But I don’t understand the compulsion… and I was disrespectful because I believe biology determines gender? I don’t see how that is disrespectful. I can definitly see how it is not politically correct. I am not denying anyone their place in the world. Living is pretty hard just on its own and people who feel so out of place must have it even harder. (But there again I have to say that there are many ways of feeling out-of-place and on some level everyone deals with it to some extent.)

      • Obviously, people who are an affront to the existence of others do not deserve to live comfortably. But we’re not talking about criminals, those who have killed or whatever, we’re talking about transgender people, and I don’t see how that ever became confused.

        Also, ignorance only neutralizes a person’s insensitivty if they are unaware of their own ignorance. However, you are aware of your lack of understanding, and as a result, any excuse for your insensitivity comes across as insincere. Just saying how it looks from our end (the readers).

      • Well Mike,
        I was responding to this comment that you made: But I am fully supportive of transgender persons, because I believe that everyone is entitled to live comfortably with themselves. In my post I talked about people who have committed heinous crimes and then want the state to pay for their transgender surgery. Not knowing you I did not know if you were referring to them as well when you said all people should be comfortable with themselves.

        So I addressed it just in case.

        I don’t know what you said in that last part … no more talking in circles for me.

  5. It seems clear in your post that you udnerstand this is indeed a medical condition. It also seems clear you are not totally ignorant to the facts surrounding gender dysphoria. What isn’t clear, is why you would encourage parents to feel even more confusion and pain over this issue.

    All transgender children have parents. Having those parents reject their children, or reject the medical establishment that is trying to help their children is very dangerous. We live in a world where transfolk are marginalised in nearly every area of our society. Why would you want their own parents to also make them isolated from the support the desperately need and want? This is not just irresponsible, it is also cruel.

    I hope that all parents who read this blog reject your transphobia, and love and accept their children for who they are. Because the world has enough hate already, but we could surely use some more love and compassion.

    • I just am really confused that you think what I said encourages parents to feel confusion and pain.

      I actually thought about the parents when I was writing this blog (I hate that word!) and decided that was a whole ‘nother subject I could not fit into that posting.

      I am just not sure where you got the whole “parents should reject their transgendered child” from my posting. Parental love is amazing to me. When you have a baby it’s like you have entered a whole other world – emotions deeper than anything you could ever imagine – and from that world you will never leave.

      It hurts to love your kids so much and parents hurt when their kids hurt. I know all that, everyone who has a child feels it. I wish you well.

  6. Sex doesn’t equal identity. If you were born into an Islamic family but converted to Christianity, wouldn’t you want people to call you Christian instead of a Muslim?

      • In what ways would they be different? Any distinction between religious identities and sexual identities would just be artificial. The process of conversion is a little more complicated with religious practices than it is for sex changes, but besides that point, in what meaningful way are they different? The only correct answer is “none.” I look forward to reading your reply.

  7. Wooow, it seems as though whatever I’ve seen or encountered in my life, I still get struck stupid by some people’s ignorance. You need to educate yourself on these things, and if you don’t understand something, don’t blog about your opinion, because you’re coming off as foolish.
    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m nowhere near transgendered, I’m as happy as my clam, so who’s to say that someone born in the wrong body can’t be as happy as I am?
    You need some serious learnin’
    It’s not a lifestyle, a phase or a choice. It’s something you can’t help, just like being left handed, depressed or gay.
    Now I’m not trying to hash on you, because this is the internet after all, and everyone is entitled to their say, however, since you stated that you don’t understand it, instead of twisting your lack of knowledge on the subject into something negative, you could have put in a light where you would have gained something from it, like learning what it’s actually like for a person born in the wrong body, personal history aside.
    In all seriousness though, it wouldn’t hurt to educate yourself on the topic, so the next time you decide to talk about subject matter such as this, you won’t come off so ignorant, and after all, times are a-changin’, should the day ever come when one of your kids needs to sit you down and have a little conversation about how their hoo-haw is supposed to be a haw-hoo…

    • Shakey, are you really concerned about whether I come off as foolish? Cause let me tell you right off it’s really OK if I look stupid or foolish or just plain wrong. Or ignorant as another comment said.

      I think it’s OK to be wrong, I also don’t think I deserve respect because I was born and I don’t expect everyone to like me. But! Here’s the bright spot for me. I don’t concern my self too much with stuff like that, I try not to anyway.

      I never said, I don’t think, that gender morphing is a lifestyle. And I guess I did twist it into something negative by saying I don’t think someone born one gender can be retooled to become another gender. But I don’t believe that, because if the trans-person stops taking the hormones they will again become their birth gender, but with surgical enhancments. My purpose is not to belittle anyone, but i am sick of political correctness and saying the “right” thing to make sure everyone feels good.

      I get that people who are uncomfortable in their sexual skin can be made to feel more comfortable with surgery and associating with perhaps like-minded people. I’m sorry to any transgendered people who might have felt slighted by my tone.

      Should the day come when one or both of my kids sits me down to discuss their sexual confusion I’ll think I did a good job. I would hope they know they can talk to me about anything. So far, the evidence says they do know that.

  8. Thank you so much for this post. I am so sorry that the trans cult is doing their usual harassment of you (though I don’t yet see the death threats that inevitably come.) You are not “transphobic” — you are oppressed by people who are either trying to appropriate your identity or don’t want to be oppressed like you are any more.

    “Trans” anything does not exist any more than we can change race or species from a male medical system making billions off people. I have yet to meet one man claiming to be a woman who had even the slightest clue of what a woman was — they were all obsessed with male-defined, minstrelized images of caricatures we are told are women, as well as fetishizing us. They are as aggressive and narcissistic as the worst sort of men, and are trying to destroy the little remaining female-only space. Whether they have lived decades as fully privilege men with their higher male incomes, wives, and children, they now claim to be more oppressed than the poorest Lesbians.

    I’ve heard FTMs say they want better jobs and more chicks — or don’t want to be raped any more. But again, they cannot become men. Most seems quite feminine by male standards, which is what Chaz was/is.

    Your crime is because you dare to say what is obvious to anyone. This isn’t complicated and it would be a joke if it wasn’t hurting so many of us. “Trans” is an illusion and a cult. But like many cults, if you dare to disagree, they will make you pay.

  9. Why am I not shocked that everyone here insists that mommistakes MUST be “ignorant” and that she needs to “educate herself” if she disagree with trans activists? Then again, I suppose it’s easier to patronize than it is to come up with a real argument.

    Personally, I’m critical of transgenderism for the exact opposite reason – I became so familiar with trans arguments (which I used to swallow unquestioningly) that I was able to realise how nonsensical they are. Frankly, anyone who’s able to say things like “a woman is someone who identifies as woman” with a straight face is begging not to be taken seriously.

  10. I’ll put it simply for you, since you don’t seem to understand the crux of the issue: If you identify as a man, then you are man.

    You don’t need the, ah, “machinery”, as you put it–you can biologically be female and identify as a man. Just sayin’. Go educate yourself before you make such ignorant assumptions steeped in heteronormativity.

      • You don’t have to agree with me. It is what is. Trans people exist outside of YOUR beliefs and YOUR opinions, and they’re not going to change themselves to fit into your narrow definition of gender.

        Please Google “heteronormativity” if you don’t know what that means. You seem to have no business talking about sex and gender, seeing as you said yourself that you’re not educated on the matter, so next time, instead of writing an article, why don’t you do some research? (Also, Gender Dysphoria is no longer a legitimate condition. Just sayin’.)

    • “If you identify as a man, then you are man.”

      But what IS a man? You’re relying on a cop-out circular definition that makes the term “man” completely meaningless.

      • What do you want to hear? Hmm? You want me to tell you that an essential characteristic of being a man is a penis, don’t you?

        There are a bunch of characteristics that one can list to define “man” and “woman”. I’m not going to patronize you by listing out these things, and I’m not going to attach the word “penis” to man or “vagina” to woman because there is, in fact, a divide between sex and gender. Sex doesn’t inform gender, and neither does gender inform sex. Gender, in this sense, is fluid; it is constructed by us, fabricated by people to propagate our existence. There is no essence that we can boil gender down to, no definite form of man, if you will allow me to utilize Platonic terms. After all, if we didn’t enforce gender norms as rigidly as we do now–if we people were freer with sex, gender, and sexuality–then the propagation of the population wouldn’t be the way it is now, where everyone is expected to live in heteronormative family units.

        That’s the world we live in. We are born with a certain set of parts–either male or female–and we’re assigned a gender to go with these parts, to allow for future breeding, of course, and thus, easier regulation of society. But some people aren’t comfortable with their assigned genders. This is what Chaz went through. He was born with female organs, but always felt like he was a man. Lacking a penis doesn’t make him any less of a man, and there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to identify as such–and to say that he’s not a man because he has a vagina is really just backwards-thinking and completely transphobic.

      • Saying that a “man” is someone with a penis and testicles is simply the definition of the term. You migtht as well say that it’s offensive to say that wolves are canines because it doesn’t include humans who identify as wolves . Saying that Chaz isn’t male is not heteronormative because it says nothing about who she should sleep with or how she should act and dress. It just means that she doesn’t have male reproductive organs.

        “That’s the world we live in. We are born with a certain set of parts–either male or female–and we’re assigned a gender to go with these parts, to allow for future breeding, of course, and thus, easier regulation of society. But some people aren’t comfortable with their assigned genders.”

        I’m not comfortable with my “assigned gender”, either. But that doesn’t make me a man, just a woman who knows that gender sucks. Sex, on the other hand, is simply a fact of biology.

  11. I want to begin by establishing that yes, everyone is entitled to their own private opinions, whether it be informed or not. However, I think it’s important that I comment on a few of your points because a) the internet is a public forum where many people could be offended by what seems to be transphobia and b) since your tagline mentions your children, I see this as a great opportunity to let you in on some new information that may prevent accidental intolerance from being taught to the next generation.

    When you write “I don’t understand it, don’t even come close to understanding why changing genders would be a desirable or valid choice for anyone,” I understand where you are coming from as a cis-gendered, straight women in a world which accepts and expects that from you. However, imagine your reaction if you heard a lesbian [cisgendered] woman say, “I don’t even come close to understanding why sleeping with men would be a desirable or valid choice for anyone.” It seems to me that you have accepted the fact that other people can have experiences with sexuality that are different from your own. I think that you just need to take that a step further by recognizing that other people can have experiences with gender that are different than your own.

    Another important section of your writing I’d like to bring to your attention is “Cutting off breasts and giving yourself shots does not a man make. Getting breast implants and giving yourself shots does not a woman make.” I completely understand where you are coming from, and today we call this idea “biological essentialism.” However, we must keep in mind that this way of thinking about gender is actually outdated! Just as we’ve come up with new evidence that Pluto is not a planet, and even though it’s annoying to have to relearn things we thought we knew about the solar system, it’s important to note that the defining characteristics of gender are not as easy to define as we once thought they were. Remember the beginnings of the whole “nature vs nurture” debate? The current academically accepted answer is that both biological and sociocultural elements come in to when human beings, and their genders, are in question. For an easy way to know more about this, you can read and even click on the citations for more information if you’re interested.

    Remember our girl Simone: “On ne naît pas femme, on le devient.”

  12. There was a time when I totally agreed with your post; however, I have watched many documentaries on this subject. They were presented by doctors, phyciatrists, surgeons, etc and I am now convinced sometimes nature makes an error and doesn’t connect the brain with the sex organs and the child does become confused. There are cases where a child is born with both sex organs and the doctors/parents decide which the child should become without waiting to see if they made the correct decision. I am three quarters of a century old and have seen and learned a lot in my time; some things I don’t understand and probably never will but have come to accept what scientists have developed and marvel at what accomplishments are being made in the field of medicine. It is indeed a changing world!

  13. Hey, how about everyone just calm down and get a life!

    Everyone needs to relax; yes, this blog is a bit off topic, because it is apparently supposed to be about “mom mistakes”, and the writer didn’t talk about the family relationship and how the family reacted to the sex change. But she was just stating her opinions so if you don’t like them then go read something that caters to something more your taste.

    And as for those of you saying ” go do some research”, um she is writing a BLOG, not a college essay. Good day, to the as%*^es of America.

  14. Do you honestly think your tax dollars go to performing these surgeries? Why don’t you give research a try instead of spouting something your bestie told you across the fence.

    How incredibly ignorant.

    • Thank you for the correction, your snippiness was telling.

      Lyralisa (born male) Stevens is serving 50 years to life for murder, convicted killers David (Bella) Birrell, Steve (Dawn) Alamillo, and Robert (Michelle) Kosilek all either are suing or would like the state to pay for their sexual reassignment surgery. Not all are incarcerated in the same state.

  15. Your tax dollars *do* go to supporting those surgeries. A male murderer (murderer of women) just won a lawsuit to have the government pay for his “transition” while in prison. Then he will demand to be placed in a *women’s* prison.

    You can get the low-down on this whole tranz-hoax starting here, and checking out her blogroll for other eyes-open female bloggers.

  16. Yes, I agree… let’s find a new word, or even better, let’s call them by their name. Crazy concept, .take one person at a time.

    I think I’m really on to something big.

  17. I don’t see how not participating in the delusions of others is hate. Dox Quixote tilted at windmills because “they might be giants”. But they weren’t bleeping giants were they. And how come DWTS never invited Chastity Bono, who at one time was a household known name to be on the show?

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